This Star Wars Cosplay Costume Will Blow You Away

He uses his actual tongue, though

A long time ago, in a parents’ basement not so very far away…

However, if you don’t have a big brown down-filled slanket (then you’re missing out), Amazon will sell you this very phallic Jabba costume for $62:
http://www.amazon.com/Jabba-Deluxe-Inflatable-Adult-Costume/dp/B0085S1NGY

Jabba costume

You’ll still need to find a girl willing to play a slave and you’ll probably have to pay extra to get her to choke you with a chain.